THE ETIQUETTE OF THE FLOWERS

The flowers have their etiquette which suggests some general rules to being considered every time one intends to give a flower or a bunch of flowers.
Here a few advices to avoid making mistakes.

BIRTHDAY ETIQUETTE

Celebrating Milestone Birthdays

Whether you’re celebrating the quarter-century mark or any of the decade markers, milestone birthdays are a great reason to celebrate. Here’s some advice for celebrating with style and grace:

Gag Gifts
While you might think that a package of denture cream is the perfect gift for your sister’s 60th, she may feel otherwise. Humor is good, humiliation is not. Keep the gag gifts above board. How about a toast or a poem that recalls the funniest things she’s ever done or said? Or a picture collage of you and her through the years.

Gift Phobia
When in doubt about what gift to give or if you really don’t know what the person would like, stick with the classics. It’s hard to go wrong with flowers, chocolate or wine. These items are, with few exceptions, universally enjoyed and appreciated.

No Gift?
No worries. When celebrating birthdays with adults, gifts are not mandatory. Some people will want to bring a gift and it is fine to do so. It’s a nice gesture to bring a card, wishing the person well for the coming year.

Surprise!
The last thing any of us want to do is make someone we love feel uncomfortable and that’s what throwing an unwanted party would do. Maybe he would be very happy to go out to dinner with your closest friends or go golfing with his buddies and you could all meet up informally afterward. Or maybe what he’s really looking for is a quiet evening with you. Give him what he wants on his special day.

Here’s to You!
Birthday toasts have plenty of room for humor, as long as you’re sure your digs about being “over the hill” won’t be taken seriously. Here’s one that works in almost any situation:

“To you on your birthday, glass held high,Glad it's you that's older - not I.”

ANNIVERSARY ETIQUETTE

Anniversary Party Etiquette

- Parties are usually held for milestone anniversaries: first, tenth, fifteenth, twenty-fifth, fiftieth and seventy-fifth (congrats!).

- The couple’s children and their families often host anniversary celebrations; however, it is perfectly fine for close friends to host and arrange the shindig; and many couples host their own parties (you certainly get exactly what you want that way!)

- If a space is rented for the party, consider contracting with the hotel, restaurant, club or other rooms 6 months to one year before (this depends on local demand for this type of space).

- Send party invitations out three to six weeks in advance (even more if many guests will be coming in from out of state).

- A cocktail party, buffet, dinner dance or most any other kind of party is appropriate, but some elements should be considered:
* Décor: This can be as beautiful and simple as vases of flowers or bunches of balloons or as extravagant as life-sized posters of the couple plastered all about the room. Decorations often reflect the traditional colors of the anniversary: silver and white for the twenty-fifth and gold for the fiftieth.
* Music: To the taste of the celebrants and their guests: a DJ, a grandson overseeing the CD player, a jazz quartet or a single piano player.
* Guest book: A guest register allows guests to make warm comments and makes a nice keepsake for the couple. On the same table, place a photo of the couple, a scrapbook for browsing or a poster board with photos on a tripod stand.

- If the anniversary party is hosted by the couple’s children or close family members, they are obligated to pay for everyone present.

- Toasts always add to the festivity of the occasion. The host should be prepared to toast the couple and should invite others to do so.

Anniversary Gifting Etiquette

- More and more, couples who are celebrating significant anniversaries opt to not receive gifts. If you do want to still give a gift, please do so at a separate time from the anniversary party. Showing up with a gift at the party is embarrassing to the hosts and guests who did not bring a gift.

- Gifts do not have to be traditional (i.e. 1st anniversary: paper or plastics; 50th: gold). Giving a beautiful pewter picture frame with a cherished picture of the couple is perfectly acceptable for the "Silver 25th." A personally-designed scrapbook documenting the couple’s 10 years together might be much more welcome than tin or aluminum! Think outside the box.

WEDDING ETIQUETTE

Traditions can and do change. And, sometimes, traditions should change. Here are a few established wedding traditions that have taken on a fresh twist in recent years.

Old : The bride’s family pays for the wedding.

New: Today, just 27 percent of weddings are paid for by the bride’s family. Even a simple affair can have a significant cost, so it is not surprising that families attack this in different ways: the bride’s family may pay; the couple themselves may pay; or the groom’s family, the bride’s family and the couple may share expenses. What’s important is that the bride- and groom-to-be discuss the budget early to ensure a smooth path to the altar.

Old: There should be no more than six bridesmaids and six groomsmen.

New : You can have as many or as few attendants as you want: there is no maximum and minimum. Even at a big, formal wedding just one or two attendants on each side are acceptable. Because groomsmen/ushers have the responsibility of seating guests at the ceremony, the rule of thumb is one usher for every 50 guests, and it’s fine to have more ushers than bridesmaids.

Old: The bridal bouquet must be white or, at the very least, subdued.

New: Bouquets can be as beautiful and varied as the brides who carry them. Vibrant wildflowers, lavender roses that match the bridesmaids’ dresses, the groom’s favorite flower: all are acceptable and wonderful. Brides, however, should consider guests who might have allergies to certain flowers.

Old: The mother of the groom shouldn’t choose her dress until the mother of the bride has chosen hers.

New : Traditionally, the mother of the bride chooses her dress and then notifies the mother of the groom of its style and shade so that she can purchase a dress that complements but doesn’t exactly match the bride’s mother and attendants. Today, the mother of the groom should select an outfit that she feels beautiful and comfortable in and that is appropriate for the time of day and formality of the wedding. And if the bride’s mom hasn’t contacted the groom’s mom, it is perfectly fine for mom o’ the groom to initiate that phone call to discuss dress details.

Old: Traditional household appliances and linens are the best wedding presents.

New: Any gift is fine – just choose thoughtfully. Some couples today have already combined households and may not need another kitschy blender, compact toaster oven or set of thirsty bath towels. Gift registries are now the norm, and handy things they are for guests who may not know the couple as well as they might like. And don’t be surprised by a registry that may contain non-traditional items like chipping in on vacations and mortgage payments.

Old: Immediate family members of the couple should not host the bridal shower.

New: The establish tradition inferred that a mother throwing a shower for her bride-to-be daughter might come across as self-serving. Today, family members don’t always live in the same state, let alone the same town, so for practicality’s sake, parents or siblings on either side may host a shower for a bride who’s visiting.

Old: Guests shouldn’t wear white or black to a wedding.

New: You can wear white as long as it doesn’t look like a wedding dress: it’s the bride’s day. If you wear black, it should look like you are attending wedding, not a funeral. Also consider: time of day, location, and any rules of attired specified by religion (for example, bare shoulders or too much cleavage or leg showing).

Old: All guests should receive hand-written thank you notes for their gifts.

New : Sorry, there’s no changing this one! All guests should receive hand-written thank you notes for their gifts. Save the e-mails for lunch dates and business-related thank yous.

Etiquette For Alternative Registries

Whether or not and where to have their gift registries are two of the thousands of decisions that engaged couples need to make before their big day. There are some rather amazing gift-registry choices for couples today. Everything from mutual funds to island honeymoons can be tagged as gift possibilities. But what’s appropriate and how should guests be made aware of your gift suggestions?

The whole point of registries is to make gift selection convenient for guests, especially those who have little time for shopping or don’t know a couple’s tastes. Note the following:

1 - No guest is obligated to select a gift from a registry – it’s up to the guest to decide what to choose. While many guests enjoy coming up with their own ideas for gifts and take pleasure in selecting "just the right thing," the majority of guests are thrilled to have some guidance – and a guarantee that comes with a registry gift that they’re getting the lovebirds something they’ll love.

2 - Just as guests have varying budgets, the registry should have a range of prices. Listing only expensive gifts is a discourtesy; it’s up to the guests to decide what they’ll spend.

3- Non-traditional registries are a great new option, but registering at more traditional locations for a few household items should be considered. This allows guests who may not be comfortable with these more modern opportunities to still select a gift they know you’ll love.

4 - Guests should be informed politely about registries. The bride, groom, their families and the bridal party should wait until someone asks about a wish list. If asked directly, a courteous response would be something like this: "We would be thrilled with anything you gave us. But, you can find our registries at xyz and abc stores if you’d like. Thanks for thinking of us!" Discreet links to registries on the wedding web site are also appropriate and are one of the best ways to “inform” guests without compromising etiquette.

5 - Registry information should never be part of the wedding invitation. Although it might seem practical, including registry information may offend. Wedding invitations that include "what to buy us" lists turn people off because the emphasis on gifts seems more important than the invitation to join a couple on their special day. Don’t include registry lists in engagement party invitations or wedding announcements either. However, it's okay for shower hosts to include registry information in invitations because gift-giving is the purpose of the shower.

6 - Write thoughtful, hand-written thank-you notes to each and every guest who gives you a gift. Do it as soon as you possibly can – at the very latest, within three months of receipt of the gift. (Having a year to write thank you notes is a myth.)

Honeymoon Registry

What is it?
This type of registry allows guests to contribute to a couple’s honeymoon trip fund. They are easy to create on different wedding websites, and are also available through many travel companies and agencies. The bride and groom should work with a reputable company that will alert them to each cash gift (including the name of the gift giver), and one that will manage the honeymoon plans efficiently.

Is a Honeymoon Registry appropriate?
Yes, but don’t expect all guests to choose that gift option. Some will be more comfortable selecting a traditional gift, or giving cash. A honeymoon registry is an acceptable choice, but it’s probably safest to give guests alternate choices -- so it’s a good idea to still register for some traditional items, too.

Wedding Gifts, Gifts and More Gifts

Your best friend from high school just called: she’s getting married. Your joy for her knows no bounds. You call on your history together, her personality and love of the color fuchsia to come up with the perfect gift: a 100% pashmina wool "ring shawl" – just the right shade. You spend a little more than you intend, but she is so worth it. Then you get the invitation to the wedding. And the invitation to the shower that a friend is throwing. And the invitation to the shower that her mother is hosting. Are you going to have to buy gifts for all of these events? Read on.

- Engagement gifts have never been obligatory and are not expected from casual friends and acquaintances. But they are becoming customary in some parts of the country, usually given to the couple by family members and close friends. An invitation to an engagement party implies that gifts are welcome -- unless the host or hostess state otherwise. A guest who is unsure about whether or not to bring a gift to an engagement party may simply ask the hosts for guidance. Whether the host is a family member, friend or the bride-to-be, consider sending a beautiful bouquet of flowers to after the party with your thank you.

- A guest invited to a shower should bring a gift. After all, gifts are the purpose of a shower. If an invited guest can't attend, it is not obligatory to send a gift; however, a close friend or family member sometimes chooses to send a gift regardless. If a guest is invited to two – or more – showers, she is not expected to bring gifts to both.

- Guests invited to the wedding have an obligation to send a gift, whether they are attending or not. There are few exceptions. If you live far away from where the wedding will take place and have been out of touch with the couple for several years, and are not planning to attend the wedding, there's no need to send a gift. Also, the receipt of a wedding announcement after the wedding carries no gift obligation, although it's thoughtful to send the couple a note or card expressing your "best wishes."

- Is there a formula for figuring out how much to spend on a wedding gift? Yes – the amount spent on the gift should be based on your affection for and relationship with the couple – or their families – as well as your budget. People sometimes say that a wedding gift should cost at least as much as the bride and groom are spending on entertaining each person at the reception, but that is a myth.

- Appropriate wedding gifts run the gamut from fine china and small household appliances, to gardening tools and camping equipment, to money and gift certificates. Selecting a gift should be an enjoyable process. But for the "shopping-challenged" among us, bridal registries simplify the process of finding the right gift. Today, couples often register for gifts with two or more stores, web sites, or even travel agents and brokerage houses. (See Alternative Gift Registries.) Registry information is discreetly spread by word of mouth or can be included as an insert in a shower invitation -- but should never grace the folds of a wedding invitation. To mention gifts in the wedding invitation puts too much emphasis on the gift, and less on hoping the invited can come to the wedding – a turnoff for most friends and relatives.

- Generally, wedding gifts should be delivered to the bride's home or to the home of her parents before the wedding, addressed to the bride. When gifts are sent after the wedding, they are sent to the couple at their new address. When a couple is living together before the wedding, gifts are either sent to them at their home address or to the bride's parents if they are hosting the wedding. In some areas and cultures, it is customary to bring the gift to the wedding reception rather than deliver it ahead of time.

- Gifts may be sent as soon as a guest receives an invitation. The advantage of sending gifts ahead of time is that the bride and groom do not need to worry about keeping gifts safe at the reception site and transporting them after the reception. Another myth: guests have up to a year after the wedding to send a gift. Not so. Gifts should be sent before the wedding.

- Each and every wedding gift should be acknowledged by a hand written thank-you note from the bride and groom – ASAP. Couples should aim to write notes on the day the gift arrives, whenever possible. There is no excuse for not having all thank-you notes written within three months of the wedding. If it has been six months, one year, and the thank you notes have still not been sent, send them.

Sympathy Etiquette

With their beauty, color and scent, flowers serve as graceful tribute to the deceased. While roses, lilies, carnations and other traditional choices have never gone out of style, arrangements that are more personalized and dramatic are increasingly common.
Here are some examples of what you could send:

- Floral baskets and living plants: Virtually any type of plant is suitable and can be chosen to reflect the personality of the deceased. Flowers can be sent to the bereaved individual’s home or to the funeral home.

- Floral wreaths, crosses and sprays: These more elaborate displays are often sent by a group. They are also a good choice for companies or associations that want to honor the deceased.

- Casket arrangements: These are traditionally supplied by family members. Lid sprays, often of roses or calla lilies, cover the unopened section of the casket at an open-coffin funeral and the entire casket once it is closed.

BUSINESS ETIQUETTE

- Birthday

The following suggestions will help you when celebrating co-workers’ and clients’ birthdays.

- If you have not recognized a colleague’s birthday in the past, consider doing so for a milestone birthday (we all know them! Thirty, forty, fifty, sixty-five).

- Two things determine the appropriateness of a business gift: its cost and how personal it is. It’s always safer to err on the less personal side. Some ideas for office gifts: Food, a desk accessory (picture frame,) something related to the recipient’s hobby interest, or a book. And never spend more than you can afford, regardless of what others are doing.

- If giving flowers, avoiding any possible romantic overtones. Also, consider size and scent. A busy administrative assistant with a packed desk might prefer a smaller arrangement or a potted plant.

- Worker-bees take note: it’s always appropriate for a supervisor to give a gift to an employee; however, an employee giving a gift to a supervisor can be interpreted as self-promoting. Consider a card instead of a gift, or giving a joint gift with other co-workers.

- Sending a birthday greeting to a client is an excellent way to continue a relationship without going overboard. For a long-time client, consider sending chocolates or flowers; for your best clients, you might pair flowers with tickets to an event. Be sure to check first as to whether the client’s company or organization has any policy that prohibits receipt of gifts.

- Some more good-gift choices for co-workers: wall calendars, pen and pencil sets, business reference books and plants. Travel items are also very often appropriate: tote bags, folding umbrellas, travel clocks, or a watch that shows global time zones.

CONGRATULATIONS

The following suggestions will help you celebrate a co-worker’s promotion, accomplishment or happy life event.

- It is a very gracious and respectful act to acknowledge a colleague’s success. A hand-written note or a card that you picked out yourself are simple ways to do this. Keep a box of note cards in your desk drawer so you can write a note before you forget.

- For the promotion of a close colleague, consider giving a business-appropriate gift: either a temporary gift such as flowers or food, or a lasting gift that may remain on their desk or wall for months or years to come. Take your office mate out to lunch. When extending the invitation, let him or her know that the celebration is your treat.

- If there is an office party at work or at a restaurant or bar, have fun but avoid the following pitfalls: drinking too much, dressing inappropriately, talking too much about your personal life or talking negatively about other co-workers.

- If you have received a wedding invitation from a co-worker, send a gift even if you don’t attend. If you weren’t invited (don’t fret: many people like to keep home and work separate), you may still choose to send a gift, singly or as a team or department, but know that it is not expected.

GET WELL

The following suggestions will help you to share your concern with a colleague who is ill or who has a seriously ill family member:

- Actions speak louder than words: show sympathy by helping the person on the job. Take over certain aspects of their daily load and keep them informed on important business happenings.

- If your colleague is ill enough that he or she will be out of the office for an extended period of time, send a get well card. This can be done by you alone or you can team up with other folks at work.

- If you have a close relationship with an individual who is laid-up for several days, weeks or months, consider a simple gift such as flowers or a potted plant. Team up with co-workers and take turns making or ordering meals (check with the individual or a family member first).

- Gifts such as flowers and food are nice to receive as are crossword puzzles, books and CDs. Temporary gifts help make "sick days" fly by.

- If your co-worker insists on staying on-the-job in spite of a terrible cold (sneezing and coughing and wielding tissues!) or other short-term illness, it is fine to let that individual know that you are concerned about his or her health and the health of the rest of the office. You can help alleviate your sick co-worker’s concerns about spending a day or two away from the office by offering to help with his or her work load: offer to check their voice mail, follow up with a client or complete a project.

SYMPATHY

The following suggestions will help you to support colleagues who experience the death of a loved one.

- When a co-worker loses a loved one, write and speak your condolences right away. If you are close, attending pre-funeral and funeral services will be respectful and comforting.

- Never make statements such as "It was really a blessing" or "Be thankful that her suffering is over."

- Read the obituary, or speak to a friend of the family, to find out if the family is accepting flowers where the memorial service will be held, or if they are asking for donations for a non-profit organization. Co-workers can go in together on a beautiful bouquet of flowers or on a charitable donation (non-profits notify the family of the deceased of gifts made in his or her memory: they share names and addresses but not the amount donated). Even if you send flowers or make a donation, send a sympathy card directly to your co-worker at home.

- Offer practical help wherever you can. Don’t just say, "I’d do anything for you." Say, "Donna, I’ll check your phone messages each day while you’re gone and deal with any issues that come up."

- To give your co-worker’s family one less thing to worry about, order a gift basket of food and have it sent to the home where the family will be gathering. Or consider asking co-workers to commit to a week-long schedule of delivering dinners to the family.

THANK YOU

The following suggestions may help you when acknowledging a compliment or a gift, or when you are extending thanks to someone for a job well done.

- Saying "please" and "thank you" are not empty gestures. When you say "thank you," you are showing appreciation and displaying confidence and maturity.

- Receiving compliments graciously shouldn’t be so hard to do. The trick? Simply say, "thank you" to the colleague, supervisor or client who has complimented you on a job well done.

- How do you say thank you after a business breakfast, lunch or dinner? Of course, give an immediate verbal thank you to your host, and then follow up with a note of thanks. If you communicate frequently by email and you believe that your email won’t be lost in the ether, by all means do that. However, a quick, hand-written note is a tried and true method that always impresses.

- If a co-worker or business associate refers a client to you, thank them for their assistance. A short note will let them know how much you appreciate their collegiality. And they are more likely to refer to you again.

- If you have pulled a meeting together with speakers or special guests, make sure to write a thank you to each immediately after the event. Keep a box of thank you cards in your desk drawer to make this kind of follow-up easy.

MATERNITY

The following suggestions may help you when acknowledging or celebrating a colleague’s pregnancy.

- #1 rule: If you are not sure that a co-worker is pregnant, don’t say anything.

- When a colleague is pregnant, do not make observations about her eating habits ("Eating for two, hm?"), weight gain ("You must be having twins!") or appearance ("You look exhausted"). Be happy for your co-worker, but don’t pry.

- Never touch or rub your co-worker’s growing belly.

- If you attend a baby shower either at the office or off the premises, you are obligated to give a present or contribute to a group gift. Standard gifts include baby clothing and accessories, stuffed animals, infant toys, or picture frames. If you are invited but cannot attend, you are not obligated to send a gift (though you may if you wish.)

- Written or printed invitations to baby showers are the norm – except in the office setting. If you are organizing a co-worker’s baby shower, extending the invite over the phone or in person is fine.

- Upon the birth of a colleague’s baby, consider sending a card along with food and/or flowers. Flowers in the hospital are nice, but can be overwhelming to a tired new mother: consider sending your gift to her home upon her return.

BUSINESS GIFTING ETIQUETTE

- Often companies provide standard gifts for all employees during the holidays or for Administrative Professionals’ Day. However, you may also want to reward your assistant yourself during one of these time periods, or on a work anniversary. The gift choice depends on length of service: if it is less than five years, a gift costing $25 is sufficient; with longer-term assistants, like yours, you may want to be more generous.

Flowers are a great all-purpose gift for a business associate. Consider the following when choosing flowers for the office setting:

* Scent: While your colleague might love a very fragrant flower, his office mates might not. Take this into consideration when choosing.

* Arrangement: A bouquet of long-stemmed roses might imply romantic interest. Consider a more standard arrangement, like a classic spring mix, or a potted plant.

* Care: If you send a plant, make sure it is low maintenance. At the office, it’s likely that a high-maintenance plant will either die (very sad) or be taken home (defeating your purpose of supplying greenery in the office).

- It’s my boss’s birthday. Should I give her a gift?

Don’t give your supervisor a gift that is just from you. Other employees may see this as you trying to garner favor. The best solution is to get together with co-workers and give a gift jointly, or just give a card.

- I was recently invited to a co-worker’s birthday celebration which was held at his home. On the invitation, it stated "no gifts." I felt funny not bringing something, like a bottle of wine or some flowers, especially when I saw that other guests had. Would it have been appropriate for me to bring a gift?

It is very common both in business and social gatherings for invitations to specify "No Gifts, Please." The host’s wishes should be respected: don’t bring a gift. When a guest brings a gift, they are not only ignoring the host’s wishes, but they are also making others feel uncomfortable. So, go to the party with a clear conscience. And, if you wish, when you send a thank you note, you can also send an arrangement of flowers.

- What is the proper etiquette for office donations like chipping in on a baby shower or wedding gift? Should a dollar amount be sent or should it be left to each individual to decide how much to give?

Giving makes us all feel good. However, many of us start feeling the burden of being asked again and again. People working in a large office may be asked to give several times a week. If this is the case, it is difficult to say “no,” but it is more difficult to keep giving. People should never go from desk to desk soliciting: this is a time waster and puts unfair stress on those being asked. Depending on your office policy, a group e-mail can be sent or the request can be posted in the staff room. People interested in contributing can then visit the solicitor to make a donation. Donors should offer whatever they feel they can afford, and the solicitor should be appreciative of all the gifts.

ETIQUETTE FOR DIFFERENT OCCASIONS

"Just Because" Gifts

We all have those moments of overwhelming appreciation for a friend, teacher or colleague; moments of intense love for our significant other, parent or child. Why do we wait for a birthday, anniversary or holiday to write a heartfelt note or give a gift? Why don’t we move on the moment and show our gratitude when we feel it…on a Tuesday?

"Etiquette is about enhancing relationships," said Peter Post, author of Essential Manners for Couples. "The status quo of a good relationship is always comforting – but every now and then, a pleasant curve ball is in order." A surprise gift doesn’t have to coincide with any particular day and it doesn’t have to be expensive. Remember: gifts are about giving, not about value.

Here are some reasons to give a gift "just because." Accompany with a thoughtful note.

- Your best friends took both of your kids for an overnight so that you and your SO could have some much-needed quality alone time. A bottle of something delicious with a gift certificate to a favorite restaurant would be welcomed with open arms.

- An unexpected year-end bonus – unheard of but very welcome, yes? Let your boss know how honored you are that the company is recognizing your hard work. Because giving a gift to your boss can be tricky, consider a note and a “temporary gift” such as a plant, flowers or candy.

- You were out of town for two weeks and your neighbor mowed your lawn – and you didn’t even ask him! Wisteria Lane be darned! You neighborhood is the place to live. Let your neighbor know that with a six-pack of his favorite or invite him to go with you to cheer on your minor league baseball team.

- Your husband has been longingly gazing at outdoor speakers in catalogs for months. He’s a good guy – get them and have them installed. He’ll appreciate you every time he’s in the back yard listening to the ball game while clipping the hedges.

- The friend who is always there for you: when you broke your ankle skiing, she brought a hot meal every night for a week; when your daughter had the lead in the high school musical and you couldn’t be there the second night, she went; when you wanted someone to try yoga with you, she willingly tried the lotus position. Do something for her: a day at a spa, a night on the town.

- Mom and dad drove 500 miles to deliver your stuff to your new apartment. Just part of their job description? Maybe. Should you show them how much you appreciate their efforts. Definitely. Give them a big hug and a warm thank you when they arrive and again before they leave. Have flowers delivered for when they arrive home.

- A stranger found your wallet and turned it in to the police station with his business card. Call him and thank him; offer a cash reward. If he accepts the reward, send it with a note of thanks. If he doesn’t accept the reward, send the note along with a gift certificate.

- You have a group of close friends at work who organized a surprise bridal shower for you. Just another example of how they always go the extra mile for you. Show them your appreciation by discretely putting a special small gift at each one of their desks or sending something to their homes.

- Your teenager has consistently done her chores for the past six months (bringing the laundry downstairs, cleaning her room, unloading the dishwasher and watching her little brother for an hour after school). Wow! Get her the pair of jeans she has been wanting or a subscription to the fashion magazine she reads every month or just take her out for an ice cream. Let her know you’re impressed with her maturity.

- You wife does it all: works; volunteers at the food shelf once a month, as a Girl Scout leader and serves on the PTA; manages the kids schedules and most of the duties ensuring their well-being, happiness and health; and she still seems to find time to let you know she loves you. It’s your turn. Arrange for those family friends or grandparents to take the kiddos and whisk your beloved away for a weekend get-away. Your words of love, devotion and appreciation in the hot tub will make her feel appreciated, loved and so happy.

- School has been challenging for you child this year and his teacher has been amazing: she has been in constant contact with you; she has worked with your child to establish a learning program the works for him; and she has done all this while making your child – and you – feel like he’s really terrific. This calls for a one-of-a-kind card, maybe made by you and your child together with a picture of the child and teacher on the cover and a hand-written note inside. Accompanying the card could be a gift certificate to a book store or stationery store or a beautiful scented candle.

- You’re always on the road. When in Dallas you stay with your sister; in Chicago you always stay with your best friend from high school; and in San Francisco you bunk with your brother. Let them know how much you appreciate their revolving door hotel policy. Send them flowers "just because."

"Whether the surprise is big or small, the fun lies in planning it and carrying it out, and then in seeing the reaction. There’s nothing better than knowing you’ve made the day just a little brighter for the people who matter to you the most."

VALENTINE'S DAY

Be Romantic and Give Her Goosebumps!

Valentine’s Day, an opportunity to communicate how you truly feel about your loved one. The most successful relationships are grounded in a continuous effort to connect: and here’s your ready-made chance. Whether you consider yourself a communication guru, connecting with your significant other constantly, or a dud, with communication efforts few and far between, here are a few pointers to give her (or him!) goosebumps.

- Develop your Valentine’s Day plan. Think about what suits your personalities and relationship. The simpler and more heartfelt the plan, the easier to pull it off. Whatever you decide to do, make sure it includes time and space for just the two of you to build your language of love.

- Make your Valentine’s Day restaurant reservation ASAP—popular eateries fill up fast. Securing a spot at his favorite restaurant (even if it’s not yours) will make him feel warm and fuzzy.

- Is there something special you want to tell your significant other on Valentine’s? If so, make the time to mull it over. When you are speaking, you want to be able to focus on your loved one and her reaction, not worrying if you are saying the right thing.

- Presenting your significant other with roses—or her favorite flower—is a sure sign of your amorous intent. And you do get extra points for knowing her favorite flower. (Men like flowers too! He’ll be tickled and touched, and his co-workers will be green with envy.)

- Get the card now! Don’t wait until the last minute when the selection at your corner store includes only mushy or mundane sentiments. What do you really want to tell the most important person in your life?

- Dress up for him or her. Men: Shave, haircut, pressed clothes. Wear the sweater (even if it itches) that she loves you in. Women: Dig out that dress he gave you last year that you think makes you look fat but he thinks it makes you look sexy. Just make the effort!


Halloween Etiquette Tips

Trick-or-Treating Etiquette for Kids of All Ages.

It’s almost that time of year again, when ghosts, goblins, witches, and warlocks fly around our neighborhoods. But before you send your little tricksters out for some Halloween treats, consider these helpful trick-or-treating etiquette tips.

- Remind your little goblin not to be greedy—one piece of candy from each house is the general rule. Saying thank-you is a must.

- Ghoulish make-up and face paint are acceptable, but keep it age appropriate.

- If your neighborhood isn’t kid friendly, head to one that is. Never drop your kids off in an unknown neighborhood alone. Even if you think it’s safe, you should at least know a member of the neighborhood and stay with them.

- If you have really young ones, try trick or treating earlier, around 4 or 4:30pm. Your kids will be less exhausted, and less likely to run into the really scary costumes and tricks of older kids.

Love Halloween or know someone that does? Celebrate the day by sending the FIORAIONLINE Halloween Glow Bouquet, featuring bright yellow spider mums, purple caspia and salal arranged in a stunning spider web votive vase.

Host and Hostess Gifts

When should I bring a host or hostess gift?

Cocktail party
Host and Hostess gifts are completely optional for cocktail parties. But if you’re in a generous mood, a bottle of wine or a batch of blueberry muffins for the next morning—or, for the holidays, something seasonal, like an ornament—would be thoughtful. Be sure to enclose a gift card so the host won’t wonder whose thought it was that counts.

Dinner party
Yes, bring a gift, but keep it simple and under $25. Anything that distracts the host may be a nuisance. A bottle of wine, a small potted plant, a flower arrangement already in a vase, candles, or soaps are better bets. Present the gift to your host when you arrive, or leave it on an entry way table if your host isn’t there to greet you.

Casual get together such as brunch
A gift is optional. You may choose instead to bring something to the meal—a side dish, dessert or drink. But ask: just showing up with a tray of Danish puts the host on the spot.

Overnight stay
A gift is mandatory. You can present the gift upon your arrival, during your stay, or after your exit. Consider giving your hosts something you note in the course of your visit that would be right for them, like a tray that goes with their color scheme. The longer the stay, the more expensive or elaborate the gift. For example, for a weekend stay, you may decide to send flowers. If you’ve stayed for three nights or more, a gift certificate to the host’s favorite spa or restaurant would be a good bet.

What do you give the host who has everything?
Everyone likes a thank-you. Even the simplest token can have an impact—flowers, homemade jam, or a batch of your fabulous chocolate cookies.

Should you send something if you're not attending?
There’s no need to send a gift to a host or hostess if you’re not attending the event.

If I call a host the next day to thank her, must I also send a note? Is an email acceptable?
A call the next day is always thoughtful. For a dinner party, a phone call is enough. For informal gatherings among close friends, either a call or an email is fine. But after an overnight visit, a handwritten note is the way to go.

If a dinner party guest brings me a special gift, should I acknowledge that thank-you gesture with a thank-you note?
A verbal thanks is sufficient. But if you didn’t get to thank your guests at the party, you do need either to call or to drop a short note so that your guest knows you received the gift.

If I bring a gift or a contribution to a dinner, do I still need to send a thank-you note afterward?
If you’ve brought a gift or contributed to dinner and said thanks verbally for a wonderful evening, a written note isn’t necessary.